Friday 23 April 2021

The History of the World in Dumb Jokes

Were you bored silly in civics class? Then you’ll love laughing at Socrates, Lincoln, Caesar, and more with these jokes curated by the Typerse review team.

Jurassic Period: Dinosaurs

Q: Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?

A: Because the pee is silent.

1323 BC: King Tutankhamen Dies

Q: Why was King Tut so irresistible?

A: It was his pharaohmones.

Circa 469 BC: The Birth of Western Philosophy

Q: Who was Socrates’s worst student?

A: Mediocrities.

Q: Who was his busiest student?

A: The one with a lot on his Plato.

221 BC: China Begins Construction On an Enormous Fortification

Q: Why did Mark Zuckerberg visit Beijing?

A: To see the Great Firewall.

27 BC to AD 476: The Roman Empire

Q: What did Caesar say when his friend asked how many oranges he’d had?

A: “Et two, Brute.”

5th Century to 15th Century: The Middle Ages

Q: Who was the roundest knight at King Arthur’s Round Table?

A: Sir Cumference.

6th Century: First Great Mayan City Reaches Its Peak

“Knock, knock!”

“Who’s there?”

“A Mayan.”

“A Mayan who?”

“A Mayan the way?”

Circa 1275: Europe Meets Asia

Q: Which explorer was the best at hide-and-seek?

A: Marco Polo.

1492: Christopher Columbus Comes to America

Q: What vegetable did Columbus not want on his ship?

A: A leek.

1509: A New Tudor King Is Crowned

Q: Who invented fractions?

A: Henry the 1/8th.

1620: The Mayflower Arrives at Plymouth Harbor

Q: What did one turkey say to the other when they saw the Pilgrims?

A: They look nice. Maybe they’ll have us over for dinner.

1687: Sir Isaac Newton Publishes His Landmark Book on Physics

Q: What did Newton’s doctor tell him when the apple fell on his head?

A: “I don’t think you understand the gravity of this situation.”

1775: The American Revolution

Q: Who yelled, “Coming are British the”?

A: Paul Reverse.

For plenty more humour, check out the great content at Typerse today.

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